Thursday, January 12, 2012
A Year With Thomas Merton - January 12
The Peace of Being Nothing Special
It seems to me that I have greater peace and am close to God when I am not "trying to be contemplative," or trying to be anything special, but simply orienting my life fully and completely towards what seems to be required of a man like me at a time like this.
I am obscurely convinced that there is a need in the world for something I can provide and that there is a need for me to provide it. True, someone else can do it, God does not need me. But I feel He is asking me to provide it.
At the consecration of my Mass I suddenly thought of the words: "If you love me, feed my sheep!"
The wonder of being brought, by God, around a corner and to realize a new road is opening up, perhaps--which He alone knows. And that there is no way of traveling it but in Christ and with Him. This is joy and peace--whatever happens. The result does not matter. I have something to do for Him and, if I do that, everything else will follow. For the moment, it consists of prayer--thought--study, and above all care to form the South American postulants as He brings them to Gethsemani.
January 23 and 24, 1958, III.159-60