Through Faith and Fire
(Merton is baptized a Roman Catholic at Corpus Christi Church in New York City on November 16, 1938)
The chief thing that struck me today before the Blessed Sacrament: I have put my fingers too much in the running of my own life.
I put myself in God's hands, and take myself out again to read just everything to suit my own judgment. On that condition I abandon myself to Him.
Consequence? We seek the good and behold we find disturbance. We say "Peace! Peace!" and there is not Peace!
Jesus, I put myself in Your hands. I rest in Your wisdom, which has arranged all things for me. I promise to stop jumping out of Your arms to try and walk on my own feet, forgetting that I am no longer on the ground, or near it!
Now, at last, let me begin to live by faith. "Seek first, therefore, the kingdom of God."
November 16, 1947, II.134
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